Written by Eric Mason from: Lighthouse Counseling Bangkok
People that suffer from ADHD usually have challenges to face throughout their entire life, due to their hyperactivity and focus deficit. Even if the marriage is composed out of a regular person and only one person with ADHD, problems can still occur. Here are 7 reasons why married couples that have ADHD in their lives divorce more often than regular couples.
- One partner becomes the parent while the other one is the child
This is probably one of the most frequent problems in such couples, which usually leads to serious issues. One of the partners becomes the responsible, parent-like figure, while the other behaves like an irresponsible kid. The “parent” will start nagging and disliking the other partner, also being stressed of having to take the entire responsibility and chores of the house.
- Problems may appear when ADHD is not diagnosed
Many people end up being adults while suffering from ADHD, without a doctor properly diagnosing them. In the past, children with ADHD were considered naughty and bad behaved, without anyone considering that they have a medical problem. Thus, they grew up this way without getting the help they need.
- In the beginning of the relationship the ADHD person will hyperfocus on their partner
This is why most relationship start in a beautiful manner, as the person with ADHD manages to make their partner feel like they are the center of the universe, by hyperfocusing on them. But, there comes a time when this stops and the partner will start feeling ignored, not knowing why.
- The partner with ADHD gets easily distracted
It is hard to focus on the other partner when something grabs your attention so easily. Because of this, one of the partners will start feeling rejected and unwanted, since the other doesn’t seem to bother about him or her too much.
- Bad behaviors and tantrums
A person that is not treated for ADHD, but suffers from it, often has a rude behavior. Tantrums, states of managing anger and discontentment, they can be quite often in ADHD without a proper treatment. These can be held under control, but with the right guidance.
- Not realizing that ADHD is a problem
Many people don’t see ADHD as a problem in their marriage. Thus, they refuse to get the needed treatment, blaming their partner for not liking them as they are. This is completely wrong, since their spouses married them from the beginning, when these problems were not so persistent. A patient with ADHD has absolutely nothing to lose from trying the treatment out, as this person will notice that it can make a huge difference.
- Responses that are impulsive
If a person is not aware or doesn’t know that his or her spouse suffers from ADHD, he or she may fire back impulsive responses, in return to the manifesting ADHD symptoms. The rude behavior or lack of attention of the ADHD person can make the partner start a fight. Not completely realizing why this is happening, the ADHD person will take up the fight and the two will slowly destroy the marriage. This is why it is important to diagnose ADHD, so that the couple will know how to handle it.